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CONTROVERSIAL NEW NOVEL ENVISIONS THE COMING OF THE FOURTH MESSIAH

1 lb. Jesus
1 qt. Mohammad
4 tbsp. Abraham
3 cups Buddha
2 tbsp. Confucius
1 cup Krsna (to taste)

Liberally coat Jesus with Krsna and massage Him thoroughly. Cover and set aside. In a metaphysics processor, combine Buddha and Mohammed and purée until you reach a smooth consistency. Set aside to cool as the blending of Buddha and Mohammed may generate a great deal of heat. Over a low everlasting flame, sauté Abraham, Confucius, and the remaining Krsna until soft and transcendental. Turn the flame to high and add the marinated Jesus until browned thoroughly on all sides. Add the puréed Buddha-Mohammed mixture and simmer until Jesus is thoroughly cooked (about 2100 years). Serve immediately.

In Peter Burstin’s debut novel, THE J AFFECT (FS Laurel Press, New York. $25. ISBN: 0975974807. Pub date: May 23, 2005), we trade a manger for a West Village apartment as the reader discovers the untold prophecy of the fourth Messiah.

Over time, God has sent three other messiahs to Earth—among them Jahbb, an African Bushman; Jophus, a woman of Moses’s time; and Jesus. J is sent to us in the not-too-distant-future, born on a blessed day when all of the planets and the North Star were perfectly aligned. A solar eclipse is created, beaconing an apartment on Perry Street in New York City.

After three priests from the Vatican bear witness to this heavenly event, they are sent in extreme secrecy to raise the assumed second savior, Bob Daffy. Daffy and his hopelessly dysfunctional family are delivered into the lap of luxury and coddled by the Catholic Church in a penthouse on Fifth Avenue. The true messiah, J is born to a widow in a neighboring apartment to be raised far from the public eye. A few characters, including a female TV news reporter and a skeptical priest, fit the pieces of the puzzle together. Each part of the novel chronicles the moral erosion of the present world and the raising of the true Child and Bob Daffy until their final coming out at the age of twenty-four in the most spectacular event in Central Park’s history.

The narrator is unnamed, chosen by God to witness this system of sacred events: the modern prophet. Transported through time in a series of vivid dreams, the narrator is not sure if he is experiencing divine intervention or psychotic episodes. In his dreams, the narrator meets the three previous messiahs who introduce him to the history of human faith in the persons of prophets representing more than fifteen different religions.

Although THE J AFFECT is a novel, it grapples with many of the existential and prophetic questions relevant today. What is the meaning of life? Why is there so much death? Where did we come from? Why is there so much suffering? What will become of the human race and planet Earth? What can we do to prevent pan-global destruction? Are the answers to these questions worth $25?

Sure to shock and offend the religious and political right, THE J AFFECT paints a scenario of what will happen to our civilization if war, environmental neglect, avarice, deceit, and hypocrisy remain unchecked.

THE J AFFECT is available at Amazon.com and other fine booksellers.

Author Peter Burstin is available for in-person interviews in the New York City area, elsewhere by telephone or special arrangement.